Walk of Shame. In a state park.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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