theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
