Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
