splinters make it hard to masturbate
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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