Barsexuality is the new black.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm at about main and main street
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
