So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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