I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Randomize
