ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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