he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Randomize
