last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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