He asked to "fluff my boner.."
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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