"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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