Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
