at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
