She announced her abortion via fbk
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
