Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
