Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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