I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
