someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
