sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
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