Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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