Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
