Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
