Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
