"it" just moved
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
