Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Randomize
