I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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