Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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