im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
