doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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