I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Randomize