god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
