i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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