if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My vagina is officially offended.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
