he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
