I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
