Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
