at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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