Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
