I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
