I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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