is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
