Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
is wine microwaveable?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
