respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
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