dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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