Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
