we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My bed is full of blood and feathers
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
