But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
