I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
