if i can run in heels then i can drive
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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