They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
